I was just having a chat with my brother, we got into the discussion after I showed him a video I was linked to and it was very interesting. I often worried about my brother as he never seemed to have any set goals in life, at least not long term ones, he was always just plodding along and going with whatever was good for him at the time. Then he started talking about how he sees the world. He is currently at University studying Social Sciences (and anyone who is studying this and forgive me if I get things wrong). Part of his course is on deviance and it was from that that he was able to understand and explain his world view.

It seems his thoughts are that this world is so infinitesimally small and we are so infinitesimally small within it and time that really why should we do anything. He explained it as there is a real world and a world we create, within the world we create are the goals we set for ourselves but only as a way of giving ourselves meaning and a reason to keep existing, social goals I think he called them. Claiming that creating long term goals was stupid as it only made people upset when they failed to meet them and even when they do succeed. He said that he chooses to live his life with small goals (I need a drink, I will play football today, I need to get this work done) in order to just be happy with what he has and if he dies tomorrow he will feel he had a good run and did exactly what he wanted to do.

On the one hand I accept where he is coming from and am happy he doesn't feel like his life is lacking anything. On the other I find that quite a depressing way to live, never dreaming you can do something special. I have only one goal in my life, to create something that is remembered, truly and properly, not that I'm remembered for just as long as it is. It's a silly goal, not one that can be measured and probably one I wont achieve but I feel quite content that one day I might be able to leave behind a 'fuck you world I did something great'.

Still it makes me feel quite odd that my brother will always be more content in his goalless life than I ever will.